jealousy

“i will always love you”
the whisper is loud, hopeful
i can’t help but cringe away
from the hurt in your voice
you stare at me from across
the room and think of nights
not so different from this one
in which i was in your arms,
constant
now we hardly give a hug goodbye
as you leave to be with someone else
moving on, moving forward
trying to erase me from your memory
i hope it works and she gives you what you want
i wont play your games, silly boy
i wont let you get to me
jealousy is unbecoming

bree

slipping

attention-seeking little girl
who knows what she’ll do next
throwing caution to the wind
to prove she’s more alive
than you could ever imagine
show affection to that poor girl
she’ll never understand your love
but she’ll try to let you in
if she can bite the bullet hard enough
pay attention, watch her fall
watch her struggle through it all
she’ll end upright, standing high
chin in the air, heart in the sky
she believes she will, she just knows it
so she falls just to prove she’ll overcome
pay attention
show affection
that girl is slipping away
you’ll lose her if you let her go

bree

Not even a jack

let’s leave out the
parts that don’t
flatter or coddle
your ego or whatever
it is you’re stroking
these days. I’ll
play the villain,
just like when we
were kids with
sheets as capes and
I’ll take all the blame
your flock can follow
clueless as you
preach of your
heroic journey through
the murk and mire of
loving someone who
did everything to
help you
but when the crowds
fade and you’re
stuck between the
bars of past and
present, when your
bed is just a little
colder, or maybe
warmed by those
demons that follow
more closely than
the idiots who would
swallow your sin just
to have a taste of genius
I’ll be the one to find
you crumpled, broken
like the toys daddy
couldn’t fix.

tracks

you wear that
tiny piece of cotton
like a fucking badge
a gauzy sheild to
protect you from
night terrors
and trembles and
that sluggish
tar-monster, the
one that rips
and tears and
numbs and not
even your little
metal solidiers
that march in
thin lines and
pierce with thin
arrows can save
you when
the tar-monster
is gone and
all that’s left
are shallow graves
of worth and strength

empty

the purple post-its from
the walls, above the door handle,
the inside of the lampshade
once proclaiming sweet “I love you’s”
now sit crumpled
at the bottom of the trash can

this bed has lost all color
suddenly an empty white
the cheetah print pillow
and lime green blanket
stripped from it
leaving nothing but pale and hollow sheets

the barren desk,
the empty bookcase
half of the closet holds no clothes
the sight of this skeleton room
torn down to the bone
makes me cringe
it makes me miss you
but not enough to bring me back home

bree

greed

greedy fingers
caressing gentle
figure eights along
your back
soft hands grabbing
hard, pulling
your hair
lips whispering
words, hollow
and empty words
that spin images
of love

greedy fingers
pulling sinew and vein
eating you alive
dripping sarcasm from
the mouth of an angel
in hushed tones
for if it is said softly enough
she knows you can’t spot the difference
between the truth
and the angel’s greedy lies

bree

Virginia or Ophelia, they’re all the same

the rocks aren’t
so heavy when
the water is deep
and breath, like glass
sharp and broken rasps
dampened
suspended, for a moment
across an aqueous
eternity
and skin, soaking
like a thirsty sponge
until the rocks are
heavy, or maybe weightless
suspended, for a moment
swimming in mortality
the dream begins to drain
and lungs, now rigid
placid, sterile facets
and skin, steeped
in brine like kelp
swollen
the rocks aren’t so heavy
when you’ve fallen asleep

-karli (with the help of Betsy =])

little boy

little boy, don’t cry
look away, close your eyes
for this monster will try
to ensnare your mind,
to take advantage with
soft spoken lies
little boy, don’t scream
close your mouth, hold tight
for this monster can hear
your hard breathing, your
veins pulsing life
little boy, don’t run
your feet slapping hard ground
for this monster holds no sympathy
she no longer knows you
she no longer knows herself

bree

the itch

she couldn’t breathe
here comes the itch again
she counted the ceiling tiles
one…two…three…thirteen
it wasn’t right
it wasn’t right and she
had to count the ceiling tiles
she couldn’t breathe
and the itch was burning
she counted the starch white
lines burned into the black plate
five…ten…twelve
it wasn’t enough
it wasn’t enough and she
had to find the bathroom
nothing white was pure
and her legs buckled
she couldn’t breathe
and it wasn’t enough
here comes the itch again

-karli

let go

falling into the sky
the earth disappearing
uncertain slipping
let go
needle filled with lightning
straw sucking thunder
pills of enlightening
let go

smooth hands on coarse fabric
skin on skin
fire building in my chest
let go
choking with empty words
apologies all he heard
i dont regret a thing
let go

bree